| Jan. 7th, 2006 @ 01:19 pm SOME COMMENTS MY DEARS? OR I THINK IT MAY BE MY LAST UPDATE CUZ NO ONE READS IT |
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I feel::  discontent
This is my first update in oh say a couple months, very strange months i might add. i had an acceptable christmas it was good to see the family again but working christmas day made me very mad, all the stupid people asking me how did you end up working on christmas day? i looked them in the eye with a smile and said i guess im just lucky like that huh?...with every fiber of my soul i wanted to tell them to cater you you you stupid fuck its obviously your fault im here so shut your mouth buy your over priced food and go see your god damn movie. im having urges to say things like this more and more these days hehehe oops. i have also been dreading work latley everytime i go i get one step closer to snapping and cussing a costomer out because its the same old stupid shit every fucking day, wow your prices are crazy, yes yes they are steep but they have been this high for two years now you stupid cow deal with it or maby dont feed your fucking face i mean jesus christ who needs a full meal with fried food soda popcorn candy and other shit too? my new years was how i expected it to be, me finaly reaching my truly and purly apathetic state just watching all the people around me doing stupid shit and people throwing up and things so unessisary. i was drunk but christ have some control people its just a fucking disgrase that people have so little control. so since like the end of the semester till now i droped from 205 to like 190 its kinda funny because im not tryign to lose weight at all. i stoped drinking soda for the most part and have zero apitite anymore coupled with the late nights and minimal sleep might be doing it, im not complaining though. i still havent heard from central about a room mate and i hope that i am over looked and alone again i kinda love living alone. i dont know how having a room mate would turn out maby it would snap me out of the whole thing ive been delving into of not being able to deal with people but i dont know, i love being able to do whatever i desire whenever it hits me that it should be done. im excited for my schedule next year as well because i dont have any classes before noon so i can get up and have time to shower and eat something before class maby that will help with the weight gain because i used to miss breakfast and than say fuck it and not eat again till dinner. i cant wait till warmer weather its so crappy walking across campus in the cold and rain it seeps through your cloths and yo have to sit in chilly rooms damp for hours its no fun, i kinda wanna move to the south some where because i find myself hating being cold alot more than ever before. yesterday i fucked up kinda bad lol i said some things that were low and i kind of regret now but alas its kind of late now to do anything about and i will live with what ive done. ive grown accostomed to being lonly and almost accostomed to being so angry which scares me i dont want ot be like this but i dont have any ambition to change. ive also noticed i have like 4 friends left i dont know if i was jaded in highschool but it seems to me that everythig and everyone is gone, but it is my own doing and i shall reap what i sewed till next time i guess?
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder
Yours alwyas,
Kyle Logan Caputo |
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